Things My Dad Said

In honor of Father's Day, I've been posting #thingsmydadsaid on Twitter. I've compiled the list, which is below. Thanks dad, for your sage advice & funny words over the years!

"I bought you a motorcycle."

"Don't touch the pipes. They're hot."

"What do you need art supplies for?"

"I can pull that tooth for you. Go get my water-pump pliers. They're the ones with the bent pincers."

"If everybody jumped off a bridge, would you?"

"You can ride the motorcycle on the road after you ride up and down this gravel-road hill 300 times in 1st gear."

"Go cook something. Your mom's tired."

"You wanna go WHERE?"

"There could be something living under that bed of yours & you'd never know it"

"Come out here & help me bleed these brakes..."

"What am I, a bank?"

"Nikki, your problem is you just don't care"

"Where did you put my tools?"

"Marry them for their money, bc the rest, the all have." (Did I freekin' LISTEN? Noooo)

"Nobody buys a cow if they get milk for free."

"Plug in a nightlight. The dark could be deadly." (I like my house as dark as a CAVE at night, LOL)

"Shut your drapes. It pays to advertise."

"You can't live on peanut-butter & jelly and spaghettios."

"I have to run over to Booty Black's house & pick up some parts."

"You can pick your friends. And you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose."

"Does Jacki live here now? or did I miss something?"

"Never go barefoot. I stepped on a bee when I was six." (I only wear shoes when I have to)

"You shouldn't get a tattoo. Though tattoos are some really beautiful art."

"Never call me from jail. You'll sit there because I'm not gonna post your bond."

"He needs 2 hats like that stupid one. One to crap in, and the other to cover it up with."

"Your mom doesn't like the way you're behaving. Now *I* have to start going to church."

"Don't put anything in writing if you wouldn't want to read it in the newspaper."

"Don't wear name labels. They should pay YOU for advertising for them instead of you paying extra to wear their name"

"Get up and DO something. Even if it's wrong."

"You need a new overhead cam in the truck. This is the LAST money I'm gonna spend on it."

"Do you realize what ADIDAS means?" (yeah, if you're eleven...)

"Take your mom's hand-me-downs. If they don't fit, they will." (over my dead body, LOL)

"If you don't have the receipt, you can't return it."

"You have so much art in you! You could have made a lot of money! But you've wasted your life wiping butts & noses instead"

"Is that tattoo a stick-on?"

"So, have you wrecked the bike yet?"

You Don't Know Who I Am

I am on twitter, and I tweet a lot. I have over 2000 followers & I'm following almost an equal amount. I try to engage those I see in my timeline, because I know from experience that people want to feel important and like somebody notices them and cares about them. At varying times on twitter I've had people tell me I'm smart, funny, hot, a good mom, sexy, caring.

Today I mentioned I didn't get to call my dr. because I didn't have alone-time, and a new follower but apparent twitter expert said of course that's hard to do if you're tweeting all the time.

Today I spent 5 hrs in the car, taking one in for repairs and doing errands. I had one kid with me, then all 5 still at home with me. When I wasn't in the car, I was at home, with all the kids. I didn't even get my usual walk today, which at least affords me a short motorcycle ride & 40 freeking minutes alone. There are things you don't talk to your woman-doctor about while surrounded by your kids.

The comment struck a sore nerve, because this person doesn't know me at all. He doesn't know that I tweet, then kiss my 3yo's stubbed toe, or wipe her butt, or help her brush her teeth. Or maybe I tweet, and make 5 sandwiches for lunch, put in a load of laundry, sort mail, & tweet.

He doesn't know that I'm smart, yes, I even have a genius IQ, but my husband talks to me like I am so stupid I can't think to look for a kid's shoes until he comes home so I can ask him. Or that he's talked to me like that, with words that cut me to the core, for more than 20 years.

He doesn't know that I'm funny because people appreciate humor and because nobody wants to hear me whining about all the weird crap that happens at my house, or how bad my marriage is, or about trying to keep our heads above water on 30K a year with no aid and 13K in medical bills and about $15 a day grocery budget to feed 7 ppl (12 if all the kids/grands are here).

Maybe he doesn't realize that I'm "hot" literally because we only turn our air on for 4 hours a day in our 90-degree climate so that we can afford the bill. And he doesn't see that in the heat, I'm trying to maintain a clean and organized VERY small home with 7 people's stuff in it but no place to put anything, even bins of stored out-of-season clothing, blankets, etc. because my hoarder husband has every available storage space stuffed to the gills.

He doesn't know that I'm a good mom, homeschooling my kids and teaching the distracted 9yo to read again EVERY DAMN DAY, helping one kid with algebra at the same time as helping one kid with division (in between tweets, of course, since that's really all I do).

One of my kids graduated a year early, with honors... another just swore in with the Marines and the one currently graduating is going to Culinary Institute of America in January in NY, if we can get a Pell grant. I have four more kids yet to go through school. But Mr. Twitter Critic doesn't know that, doesn't see that. He doesn't know how much sacrifice it has been to raise 7 kids on one very small salary so that I could have intelligent, witty, sensible, hard-working kids.

He doesn't know that I'm sexy because I have worked damn hard to keep myself in good shape, to hold myself together physically to as high a standard as I can. And I have done that because the ONLY time in my life that I feel validated, wanted, worthy, sexy or loved is in bed, because that is the ONLY time my husband doesn't talk down to me like a non-person.

He doesn't know that I am a caring person because I crave someone to care about me, for me, and not because I am so-and-so's mom or Richard's wife or the lady who brought them fresh muffins or just the lady with too many kids.

The truth is, so many people like me and don't even know me. If you're on social media, please think twice before you comment something that you think is funny but is actually cutting and unkind. You may not know who that person really is.

WAY Far Behind

We've been up to a LOT and I haven't been chronicling it here like I probably should. So today's post is a lot of pics, each with a caption or a little blurb per group. Hopefully if I'm caught up, I won't feel overwhelmed at the thought of writing in my blog. LOL

We'll start with some B's Eye View photography. Betsy LOVES to take pics of our aquarium, for some reason. And even though there are like 15 fish in it, she always snaps a pic of this Kissing Gourami. Also in the mornings when it's asleep down behind something, she worries if it's dead.












We've had some really nice weather, in the 80s during the day and 60s at night. So of course nice weather and Friday night equal "Can we put up a tent & sleep in it?" I told the kids yeah, sure... so Diantha, Veronica, and Amy from next door took like an hour setting this up, played in it about another half an hour, and then the winds kicked up and there were storm warnings issued.

[Here on the Right are Diantha, 3 yo Beverly ("Betsy") and my beautiful and handsome 9yo son, Josiah.] Down came the tent & in came the kids. Who knew?

Below, I also caught a good front & back shot of Princess Beverly (with leaves caught in the back of her skirt, LOL).




We took the tank off the 650 and painted it metallic gunmetal gray. Here is the tank. Also the bike, reassembled.

I am going to paint green-into-silver-into-purple ghost flames on it & clear coat it yet.

We also painted my son's Icon helmet, which we were blessed to find pawned for 1/3 the retail price. It was flat black but now it's AWESOME. It actually took me a minute or two to figure out how he got the helmet to look bigger than a bathtub. See if you get it. LOL

So Diantha, Des and I were in the TwitKAL (Twitter Knit-a-long).

A bunch of Twitter knitters voted on 5 different categories of patterns (shawl, shrug, hat, gloves, sweater) and then voted again on the top winner from each category.

The winner was the Traveling Woman shawl from Ravelry. I blogged my finished shawl already, here.

This is Diantha's, which was knitted in Jojoland Melody superwash merino wool sock yarn on size 7 needles. Beautiful!

Almost Wordless Wednesday - Building a Tomb

This weekend our church is having a big drama production. For the little kids, they're having a "Mystery Weekend." The kids will go to different stations in our Satellite sanctuary and get "clues" to what happened on Easter.

Today Des, Diantha and I went up to the church and spent the afternoon building a tomb.

Here are some pre-blocking pics of my TwitKal (Twitter Knit-a-Long) shawl. It's knitted of Merino/Bamboo handspun & has 48 hanging jewels. It will be about 6 ft. wide when blocked.

Oh and I got a new motorcycle today, a GS650 Suzuki. Which I very kindly let 18yos Artemas pose on for the pic. :D

Crunch Time

I added a new hastag today to some of my posts on twitter (feel free to follow me, LOL): #imaystayupallnighttilChristmas. Yes, folks, for us knitters, quilters, crochet-ers, and crafters of paper, scissors, glue, ribbon, and button types, it is Crunch Time.

This is the time of the year we realize that we have more hours of crafting left than there are hours left in the year, let alone 6 days short of the year.

Today we had to make a little road trip to Sweetwater to deliver one of our roosters to a lady there for her mini-farm. Did I forget to take one of my diverse knitting-for-Christmas projects? You bet, I sure did. I took the passive riding-in-the-car time to pull out half a sock Diantha has knitted that was too big around, cast it back on, and knit the toe cup. But still, not what I needed to work on.

And of course, some of the gifts have to be mailed, which means finish them this week, or die of embarrassment. So I thought I would go public with my need-to-do list, sharing my potential humiliation with the world at large and provoking sympathic head-shakes from everyone out there who is in the same boat.

One of the projects I can't post, because 1) it isn't even started, 2) it's for one of my kids who is nosy and reads my blog (WHY did I teach them to read anyway??) 3) I have to get rid of said kid for a night or two or weekend sometime between now and Christmas to do it, and 4) it's really supposed to be a surprise, though keeping a secret in this family is nothing short of a miracle.

Here are the rest:
Nice warm slippers for my niece. My sister's family is in Ohio this winter, after having lived nearly 20 yrs. in FL and 2 years in TN. It's COLD in Ohio, so I am making slippers, mittens, and a matching beanie for the little niece. So far, pictured here on the left, a slipper...


The Show Me The Money Scarf. No tellin' who this one is for (on the right). It is a batt of hand dyed Merino wool I bought from Jazzturtle, that has shredded money carded into it. I spun it up into a chunky yarn and I'm doing this scarf with a braided cable and garter stitch borders. Might post the pattern later.

The needles shown are like the So Big They're Obscene needles available in Artemas' GotWood4You Shop at Etsy, but these are made from Eastern Hemlock Spruce. I am actually not knitting the entire scarf on them, just testing them for a few rows to make sure the burrs are all out of them so I can send them as a gift to a knitter friend of mine.

Flamin' Phoenix Betsy Bootees are a quickie that I've had to throw in the mix, because my 2yo informed me a couple days ago that her feet were cold, because her slippers are now too tight. So I should knit her some new ones. This is just acrylic Red Fart but it's toddler-loud. I did an eye-of-partridge heel just for fun. As of right now I am doing the Kitchener Stitch toe on the first one.

The same yarn is going into a hat like this (on the right) for Des' best friend Bethany's daughter Lily, who needs a beanie with a HUGE pom-pom. So that is also on the list, even though I haven't cast it on yet. Fortunately toddler beanies are fast, even if the toddler has a big head.

Last on the Christmas Knitting list is this sorry start on a fur-bordered, cabled beanie for Bethany's other daughter Summer. She is 9 so naturally she likes purple and pink. I hope she will like her nice warm beanie too.

~:0) ~:0) ~:0) ~:0)

In the midst of all this I am working on a selfish project. I got two beautiful skeins of Aussi Wool worsted yarn through a swap from Mystery Swappers Group at Ravelry. I saw this Circular Shrug and wanted to make one. Last week I found the greatest, real suede, purple Ho boots ever, and knew I needed to wear them to dh's company Christmas party. (Go on, tell me how wonderful they are!)

So 2 days before the party, I started the Circular Shrug. Yes, 2 days. Only I decided that instead of knitting ribbing, body, ribbing, and seaming the ribbing, I would take another knitter's modification advice and do a provisional cast-on, knit the body, joint the working stitches and the live provisional stitches, and knit the 5" of ribbing for the shawl collar, in the round. And THEN I decided to knit the body in a lace, of my own devising.

Sad to say I only got about 2/3 of the back done. About half-way through the back, the morning of the party, I had to join the 2nd ball of yarn on and realized I wouldn't have enough yarn to do the ribbing at all. And sadly, the company website doesn't list this yarn anymore. So what I did really was lose 2 days of intense knitting on my must-do-s for 2 days of ribbing on an I-can't-do. The partner I had in the Mystery swap says that yarn is still available where she lives and she will kindly rescue me and send me another skein. So I will have a beautiful purple shrug, just not now.

Now back to my regularly-scheduled knitfest. #imaystayupallnighttilChristmas

Range, Redneck, Spindles, Knitting

So I went to the range today w my 21yo DS#1. One of the mags from my weapon is seriously misloading. I do have arrangements already made to send it in for servicing, so I am kind of glad the problem showed up before I shipped it off, so I can let them know.


I noticed that on the X-1 targets I was using, the 8 ring is the same size of the 9 ring on the 12" Dirty Bird targets. Hmmm, if I use the Dirty Bird, my score is even better.

I shot 26 rounds right-handed and 10 rounds left-handed. Pics speak for themselves.


Pic of the dirty bird target up top is from a couple weeks ago but you can see what I mean by the ring size.

Artemas has started making wooden items for his Got Wood 4 You shop at Etsy. Last night he was working, and working, and working on a spindle that we could NOT get to balance. He hit on the idea of putting the shaft of it in the drill and making his own "spinning wheel".


You can see from the pics that he and Diantha had a big time of it. Gotta give them points for creativity.

In the one picture, Betsy had just taken a bite of Cola-slow-roasted pork and looks like she is either in ecstasy, or she can't believe the redneck ridiculousness of her brother. LOL.

Seems like every time Des and Tony are over, the kids get into something like this. Nice that they are getting older and actually get along!

Also it seems like every time they are over, B takes camera in hand and has a heyday running around between all the tall people, taking pictures. so I have included here, for your viewing enjoyment, some B's Eye View pics of the family.

Left, 17 yo big brother Artemas

Right, big sister Desiree with sleeping Hannah


Left, 14yo big sister Diantha, who is a peacock.


Right, Hannah.

Or rather, Hannah's legs, which is all B could reach with the camera.



Left, big brother (in law) Tony. She always makes him look like a giant.


and, God forbid I should get left out, this time she also nabbed a pic of Mom.


Artemas finally did get one spindle done to put up, this one a top-whorl. It has a 2" pearwood slice with the bark still on, screwed-in silver color hook, and 9" oak shaft.

I tried it out and it spins well.

I have been knitting, but not enough. So here for all the world to see, are my latest knitting fails (geez I use Twitter so much, I almost used hashtags. #knitting #fails. LoL)

The right cotton slipper sock, finished. But I did not cast on the left, because I wanted something to knit while I was walking this week, and I can't do the provisional, toe-up crochet cast on while I walk. Call me uncoordinated or something.

The beanie hat to go with the slipper socks, partway done. It keeps slipping off my needles, and true to Ross household form, I can't find any of the 36 needle tips I have lying around here in limbo. So despite my really good idea, I can't knit this while walking either, because I keep having to pick up lost stitches.

I cast on a Mossy Jacket (pattern here) for Hannah for Christmas, though I am going to knit it in a v-neck raglan with centered button placket. Like I need ONE more thing to do, but Hannah LOVED a hand-dyed recycled yarn I made, that coordinates with this one. And, I am a sucker for my grandbabies.

And the best #knitting #fail of the week... I lost the socks I was working on for Josiah. [Hangs head in shame]. But! I haven't looked under my bed yet. There is a very special place under the head of my bed next to my nightstand, where knitting projects left on my nightstand go if ignored for more than about an hour. So there is hope...